Some Euros Ruined My Record Auction! Part One

eBay: What was once a sure-fire way to drum up some extra cash has become a deluge of fees, new rules and general aggravation. Compounding the problem is the fact that eBay is in cahoots with Paypal, thus giving them the rights to double-dip on your winnings. Greedy, scum-sucking bastards.

Now this article is geared towards a very specific demographic, and by that I mean there are probably only several hundred people that this will be relevant to. (wow, way to alienate your audience in the second paragraph, Scott) But you can continue reading it if you want, especially if you like the promise of pie charts. And Euro bashing.

But before we go any further, we need a backstory.

I'm writing this for the benefit of men like myself: Americans who were avid fans of hardcore/punk music in the 1980's and somehow managed to save the records they collected at shows and trips to various record stores. You are in your late thirties to mid forties. You are probably married. You may have children. You most likely played in a band. You are what snarky little internet kids would call an "asshole". This post is not geared toward the uber-serious fanboy record collectors with online trade lists who take their game seriously. But if that's you, you are more than welcome to keep reading and go, "What an asshole".

I mulled around with the idea of selling off my vinyl collection several months ago. Specifically, December. Heeding the advice of my consul, I held off on the auction until after the holiday madness. Hold on, why selling? The long and the short of it is that I have no real use for a record collection of any size. My turntable is long gone and iTunes has replaced the once-popular hi-fi stereo system that occupied my living room. If I want to listen to Youth of Today's "We're Not In This Alone", I've got it in mp3 form. I have close to everything I love listening to from my youth on a Western Digital external drive. Including YOT's longtime nemesis: Half Off. And why bother putting a record on a turntable when I could much easier get into this with a few clicks of the mouse?

So I turned to a good friend and former hardcore frontman for some guidance. He said, "My advice? Just consign the records to Malcolm at Trash American Style." (you know who Malcolm is, right? Because I don't have time to get into that) My friend said I should save myself the headache of dealing with:

1. A bunch of stupid hardcore kids and adult-kids who will be bidding on the records...

2. And asking incessant questions about pressings, wax colors and matrixes

3. And who will be whining "where's my stuff?"

4. And will potentially leave me negative feedback over minute details

5. And shipping them out a pain in the ass (Oh, more on that coming up)

Now those all valid points. BUT, I sold a ton of 7" records to Trash American Style in the late eighties. 100% my decision, and a dumb one at that. I didn't get the money the records were worth (didn't care at the time) and I was to be damned if I was going to make that mistake again in 2011. No, I was going to sell these discs myself and try and reap as much profit as possible.

Now, no slight to Malcolm. He is a great guy and has alway run a fantastic business. But guess what? I like MAKING MONEY as well.

How about Craigslist? No f-ing way. Over my wife's dead body is some weirdo dropping by the old homestead to peruse my vinyl collection. Oh and at this point, let me establish that the records I had were for the most part, nothing great. About a milk crate's worth of stuff from New York, DC and the like. A few Cro-Mags albums, Gorilla Biscuits, Youth of Today, Beyond, Rorschach, Dag Nasty. 7" from Warzone, Slipknot, Metallica, Rollins and Collapse. Not the rarest offerings, but musically, they kick mucho ass.

My first move was to test the waters with a few CD sales. Yes, if you didn't know already, the right compact discs are worth money. For example, I sold Leeway's 2nd album for like 30 bucks and I hear it can fetch up to $50. I also had good luck with the Into Another unreleased LP.

So one fine Sunday morning, I motivated myself to start snapping pictures of records and drawing up item descriptions on eBay. And I was f**ked if I was going to list & ship each record individually. No, for the most part, I put the records into groups of six and nine.

Oh look at that, we ran out of time. In Part Two I'll tell you how much money I made and if the whole damn thing was worth it or not. And of course, we'll get to the bottom of why this article is titled: Some Euros Ruined My Record Auction!

Today's post is brought to you by McGuinness Brand Ipecac. "If your roomate is keeping you from getting nookie, put a little McGuinness on his cookies".