5 Shots and an Art Card

First off, Happy 2008. I guess nothing much has happened in the past few days, cuz I'm just getting around to posting now. How about this writer's strike, huh? No new programming = nothing to talk about. But that's a topic for another post.

So yeah, what's "Five Shots and an Art Card", you ask? It's slang used in certain circles* for formulaic local advertising. Five shots of a business (Building exterior and interior product shots) plus a graphic** at the end with the business' logo, address and phone #. You can't forget to liberally apply these buzz phrases throughout the script:

1. Friendly staff
2. Conveniently located
3. For over 50 years....
4. Great selection
5. From (this) to (that)
6. For all your (blank) needs

Do you want me to go on? I've got plenty more drivel where that came from. It's the stuff I refer to as "The Deadly Don'ts" of advertising. But sadly, many businesses eat it up. In fact, stepping "outside the box" (yes, I hate that term too) is verboten. "We want to show the outside of our building." Of course you do. Who wouldn't want to see the lovely strip mall your business resides in? Not that there's anything wrong with strip malls***. But that shot isn't going to help the consumer remember your business. As a producer who is often called upon to write scripts, it's easy to fall into this pattern of laziness. "The client wants a simple commercial. Hmmm, I guess that's what I'll deliver." My thoughts on that are a few paragraphs below.

I guess a lot of my inspiration comes from 70's advertising. You know, gorillas throwing around suitcases and penny pinchers driving VW bugs to funerals. Which kinda makes me screwed in 2008, cuz it's all about CGI, flash and style over substance. I feel that narrative and comedic ads have more of an impact on the viewer than a traditional straightforward ad. Even if it's the hackiest effort put forth. If it's got entertainment value or laughs, people will remember it.

Several years ago, I was part of a "moment of brilliance", if I may describe it as such. The production company I worked for set out a mandate: No more "Five Shot and an Art Card"-type spots. We were going to try and really push the envelope of creativity. For a while, we were cranking out some really good work. And on an extremely low budget I might add. Adding a narrative element made commercials memorable. Unfortunately, this mandate did not last forever for reasons I will not go into here. But viewers did take notice.

The solution to the current, potentially dismal situation is not easy. And of course, it's not cheap. (But the payoff could be worth it.) First off, memorable spots require a good agency. I'm a production guy and an editor. I can't write good scripts, nor do I pretend to know how to do so.**** That's where the agency comes in. Step two: you need talented actors (or people who can come as close to actors as allowable) Step 3: This IS where I come in: Good production and post production. Combine these elements and now you're talking.

So that's the end of today's ramblings. One of these days I should gather up my notes and write a "Local Advertising" handbook. Then, I'll take all the sweet moolah and move to the Caribbean. So long, suckers!

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* Certain circles: People I work with.
** Art card: An archaic advertising term in which a logo or artwork was placed on an easel and shot with a video camera. Later replaced with the flatbed scanner. Later replaced with, "Can you email me the JPEG?"
*** There may be something wrong with strip malls
**** Well, maybe I can write some good scripts, but they'd get flagged down by the FCC.