Monday, June 16, 2008

The Beertender: Complete Junk.

I had an overwhelming feeling of nausea Saturday night. At first I attributed the urge to vomit to the Lindsey Lohan movie I had just watched. But sadly, it wasn't that simple. Yup, I had fallen victim to some kind of barf bug that's going around.

But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Before any of this unpleasantness occurred, I bought the Beertender. And in the words of Jerry Seinfeld, "I think I made a big mistake." Not that there's anything terribly wrong with Heineken, but I realized after setting this mini bar up and having a few pints, I was locked into drinking Heineken for the unforeseeable future. And that scared the hell out of me!

Other problem areas:
1. The beer came out too foamy
2. It gave off an odor reminesent of the Nite Cap's floor
3. It's noisy (runs on a fan)
4. It takes up a lot of counter space

Fortunately, the place I bought it from was good enough to take it back, so I won't even bring them into this story. So thank you for the "no questions asked" return! BTW, when I "untapped" the keg, it shot beer all over our kitchen floor....so that was fun.

Two days later and I'm still not 100% up to par. The thought of drinking beer is making me want to puke right now. Moral of the story? Buyer's remorse. (Is that a moral? I don't know, I'm still sick, gimme a break)

8 comments:

Unknown said...

By no means am I above saying I told you so!

Now, I'm off to tap my new log of Sierra Nevada.

Scott Forbes said...

Oh hi, I have the Amazing Kreskin on line one.... he in no way predicted that you would respond as you did.

Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot.

You gotta see Leach's email response, I'll see if he can reprint it here.

Stamford Talk said...

GEEZ- I feel sick after that post, and that very unattractive photo of LiLo's butt. Not that I wouldn't kill to have that body fat percentage. Anyway.

Right, so, the beer. I commend you for trying it because it could have been really cool, and I feel lucky that I myself have the inside scoop on the product. I'm sure people will be talking about it and we can tell them not to buy it.

Or... do you still think it could be good for a party or did the negatives ruin it?

Anonymous said...

I can't read anymore. Beer making you sick?! How dare you say such a thing!! I'm not listening la la la la la la la. It could have been a bit of undigested beef or something? Beer is our friend.

Anonymous said...

DUDE, you should have talked with me before you bought that piece of overpriced, overhyped, and underperforming piece of nonsense. You could buy a real used kegerator for the same price and be able to pour whatever friggin' beer ya' want. Oh yeah, don't believe all the dudes who will say, "You gotta clean your beer lines on a real kegerator". Well, screw those chuckleheads. In the many years that I had a kegerator, I hardly ever changed my beer lines. As long as the beer is cold and fresh, not too many people complain or can even tell if ya' got dirty lines. Hell, most bars hardly clean their beer lines. Anyway, don't ever be a slave to one brand of brew. This is America dammit. F*ck Heinkien and f*ck Holland. Go buy some great American beer, like Tecate!

Scott Forbes said...

Leach I'm with ya almost 100% of the way, but I can't bash Amsterdam at the risk of being denied my annual pilgrimage to Sint Maarten. Although when I'm down there I'm drinkin' Carib: The beer of the Carribean.

And Tecate....wouldn't that be a Mexican beer?

Katty Kat said...

I've been waiting for days for information on whether or not you bought it. I didn't get an email of any new posts to your blog. I'm pissed. I'm just reading this now. There is no way in hell you should have had any issue returning that thing. I'll take a hammer to something and bust a piece off before I ever take no for an answer on a return. What did you do with the left over beer?

Scott Forbes said...

Kat, the leftover beer is in my basement. I don't know how to get the disposable tap thingy off w/o beer flying everywhere.

I don't know if the keg is a lost cause or not. When there is a bit more room in our fridge, I'll chill it down and see if the beer is any good. It's still pretty full.