Top 10 Most Vapid Facebook Posts

I'm so bummed. I was pretty much off Facebook. Then I got a Droid smartphone and somehow I got sucked back in to this miserable time waster. Now granted, a lot of you creative folks post interesting things: Artwork, videos, photos, photos of models (thank you) And as for you jokesters, I find some of your observations from the grocery store, workplace and funeral home hilarious.

But outweighing the good content is a copious amount of "I'm compelled to post something even though it really isn't compelling" posts. In the words of a young Debora Van Valkenburg, "You Warriors don't show me much."

So today we're turning up the nasty meter with a top ten list of posts that made me go, "Huh? Did this really need to be written?"

Just remember when you're typing up your words to blast off into the inter-sphere, I'm taking notes. And I'm certainly burning a few bridges here, but you don't make people laugh without pissing off a few of your friends.

Here we go:

10. Great day today Ohhhhhhh, good for you. As for me, I got about 43 minutes of sleep thanks to a crying & pooping newborn and a two year old who is scared of Shrek.

9. looking forward to the weekend!!! I don't need any hump day, TGIF or similar updates. If I wanted to get excited about the weekend I would listen to the music of Rebecca Black.
8. U-C-O-N-N! D-O-N-T C-A-R-E
7. Just took my first ever yoga class! Really? And this was posted by a guy!
6. Getting ready for my crazy week… How crazy? Who are you, Prince?
5. Definitely a hot chocolate morning. Now this is something I would keep to myself rather than announcing via the internet. I could see "Definitely a jaeger shot morning" or "time for some cat tranquilizers", but not this.
4. Anyone knowledgeable or interested in beekeeping? Haha, just kidding, this post is f*cking fantastic!
3. So excited about my homemade oatmeal cookies… I feel like Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club: "Gee honey, isn't life swell?"
2. NCIS! NCIS! Wait, what? The TV show? Like the one my 66 year old parents watch? OK, let me try: "HARRY'S LAW! HARRY'S LAW!"
1. Ugh……this day is going by so slow. Last-minute entry, just had to throw it in to round out my list.

Now before everyone gets all bent out of shape, I'm just horsing around. But if you recognize your post and are offended, feel free to "de-friend" me. I won't mind. I see Facebook like a weight thing: I like to keep it around an even 300.

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Netflix Movie Roundup

You know, there was a glut of films that came out in fall and early winter. I realize your time is valuable, so I've taken the trouble of doing some capsulated reviews. Hope this helps with your Netflix queue or trip to the Redbox:

Get Low-More like Get Slow.

Easy A: Easy F if we're handing out grades
It's Kind of a Funny Story-It's kind of a crappy story. Whycome that Zach Galifantheopopoulaslisakis is in like EVERY movie that comes out?

(more importantly, why didn't spellcheck flag "whycome"?)
Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps-Money may never sleep, but I passed out at the 35 minute mark
The Town If I wanted to see a bunch of people shooting machine guns at each other w/o a kill count, I'd watch the A Team
I'm Still Here- "I'm not", said the audience

Unstoppable- Unwatchable

Skyline-How about a plotline? The film's creators deserve a thorough alien probing

True Grit-True shi…ahhh, too easy

Stone-Stupid

Twelve-On a scale of 1 to 10? Zero

Love And Other Drugs-I'd love it if there were a drug that would make me forget I saw this crap

Cyrus-Marisa Tomei does another indy, but this time doesn't get topless. Avoid

Tron: Legacy-This generation's Ben Hur

Morning Glory-Like Network, but with more montages of Rachel McAdam running in high heels

Faster-The Cleveland Cavaliers of action movies

The Tourist-Worse than a New Orleans timeshare

Grown Ups-The actors must have used this as an excuse to go on vacation, no joke

Eat Pray Love-Eat Pray Puke (Review stolen from the NY Post….Zing!)

The Switch-Jennifer Anniston is still doing romantic comedies? Evidence there may be no God

Fair Game-Oh great, they finally made the Valerie Plame thing into a movie, oh and it stars Sean Penn, awesome

That's it for this installment. Take my word as gospel before you hit the "add" button. We'll catch up when they release that next Fast and the Furious movie.